Friends shake their heads as if to say, “welcome to the real world, some occasions call for a dry spell. You can’t be wet for everyone”. And I agree with them, in theory, the change was not uncalled for given the circumstance. Still, after spending so much of my life being an advocate for free love it’s fair to say this sudden and enduring lack of desire has taken me by surprise. This is my emotional response to the years rollercoaster ride, a nice long LONG disinterest in all things sexy male or female (does this make me A sexual now?). It shouldn’t be a big deal really, this is what I’m told, but after spending so many years gathering strength from my sexuality and sensuous nature it’s a little daunting now to have to focus solely on my other attributes. This is just laziness I’m sure. Anyway after Saturday’s fruitless date with another Mr. OkC and the night before’s uncomfortable flirting with strangers, at a bar, I think it’s time to call it a day. Arousal shall have to wait until I get my shit sorted.
However since O got back in touch, I can’t help but be distracted. He draws focus from other positive attributes back towards the familiar sexual prowess. I should be careful not to trust too much here. I have to remember our history. And yet, danger is always appealing.
Speaking of history, I came across this post and was surprised at how much I could relate to, it felt as I was reading it to be an accurate summary of my adult life. Now I’m curious to know just how common a story is ours within the BDSM community…
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Submitting has allotted me the gift of sexual satisfaction and gratification, as well as provided me with an emotional refuge that I didn’t know I needed, or even wanted, for the longest time. It protects me from the wheels constantly turning in my mind, questioning my own worth and nagging at my soul. A majority […]
https://makingmeredith.wordpress.com/2015/11/03/playing-with-fire/
Sturm und Drang 
I’m so glad you felt enough connection to what I said to speak out about your own experiences. I hope you find comfort in knowing that you aren’t alone in situations such as these and I am always more than happy to talk, listen, answer questions, etc. if its ever needed.
I love getting feedback of any kind but comments like yours make me so glad I was able to let go of my past and finally see it for what it truly was. I hope you continue to read my posts and share your thoughts.
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